A Dip, a Terrifying Lockdown, and Remembering How to Breathe

It’s funny how sometimes hard experiences prepare us for something more.

Last week, I shared how I had been in an emotional “dip” and slowly moved my way through it once I stopped forcing, striving, and trying to push past my feelings. Instead, I allowed myself to rest, feel, breathe, and simply be.

And as soon as I relaxed into it, the heaviness began to dissipate. Ease returned, my sense of wholeness was restored, and I felt deeply grateful for all the little daily joys.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was practicing emotional resilience for something much bigger that was about to unfold.

And just a couple of days later, fear and tragedy came knocking.

My kids’ public elementary school went on lockdown for several hours because there were active shooters in the area and their whereabouts were unknown. For hours, I could not get to my children and was uncertain about what was happening. I had to lean into faith that they were safe and that their school was secure.

It was a stress-filled, terrifying, and heartbreaking day marked by shock, grief, fear, and sorrow. Very sadly, three people were killed at the mosque next door to the school in a hate-motivated attack, in addition to the two perpetrators.

And the tension has lingered for the kids, teachers, and parents. Even those of us with tools to regulate our nervous systems have felt waves of overwhelm, profound sadness, and uncertainty.

Tears have flowed and hugs have been shared. Some of us are simply allowing ourselves space to wallow in the pit of sadness, fear, and tension, both alone and as a community. And while we can’t “fix” what happened, giving ourselves permission to fully feel has become part of the healing process.

We cannot always control circumstances, but we can influence how we respond, support others, and care for ourselves. And during this painful week, I witnessed remarkable courage, compassion, and resilience, and I felt deep appreciation for little joys and ordinary moments.

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I think many of us find ourselves asking:
How do we move through really hard experiences?

This is what I’ve been doing to cope with the shock, grief, and disappointment:

I started with tears and allowed them to flow.
Did you know that crying releases natural painkillers (neuropeptides) and feel-good chemicals (like serotonin) that soothe the nervous system? Tears also help flush built-up stress hormones, like cortisol, out of the body.

I took walks.
When we walk and swing our arms, the rhythmic movement helps activate both sides of the brain. This synchronization can help calm the nervous system and process stress and emotional overwhelm.

I watched comedy.
Laughing is natural medicine for the body and mind. It helps reduce stress, release feel-good chemicals, and create a little emotional space from heaviness and fear.

I hugged my friends and family.
One of my kids gave me a big hug, let go, and then came right back for another. After the third hug, I asked what he was doing. He said, “I need my 10 hugs. For my health.” 🥹🤗

Several months ago, I shared with my boys the idea that we need hugs for health. One theory suggests we need 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 to maintain health, and 10–12 real hugs a day for an immune boost. By “real” hugs, I mean the strong, squishy, more-than-a-few-seconds kind. Self-hugs and pet-hugs count, too.🧡

Often, a few seconds into a genuine hug, we naturally let out a sigh as our bodies begin to relax. We release oxytocin, the hormone that strengthens the feelings of safety, trust, and connection while helping reduce stress and anxiety.

I took action.
My fellow parent committee leaders and I quickly organized a small thank-you for the teachers, school administrators, and security guard (yes, our elementary school has one and, yes, it’s necessary). They acted swiftly to support our children during the traumatic hours of the lockdown and in the days that followed, and we felt compelled to show our gratitude and bring them a little relief and joy.

Taking action helped us feel a sense of purpose, like we could do something meaningful to support our community. I think purpose is often an antidote to helplessness and despair.

And after the initial shock softened a little, I found myself reflecting more deeply and leaning into possibility.

I found myself asking:
What might we learn from moments like these?

How can difficult experiences deepen our compassion, perspective, preparedness, gratitude, faith, presence, and connection with one another?

We don’t have all the answers. We’re still, in fact, formulating questions. 

But I’ve seen profound resilience and kindness in our kids and community.

I’ve also focused on gratitude.
Truly feeling gratitude can help us notice small moments of joy and cultivate greater positivity. And when we nourish ourselves with those good feelings, even a little at a time, we can more easily bring light to the people around us. ✨

And that gives me hope.

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🪷 I invite you to take three slow, intentional breaths.

Gently focus on something beautiful that you are deeply grateful for.

I like to think about the birth of my children.
The feel of soft sand and cool ocean water.
The colors of a beautiful sunset and desert blooms.
The majestic view of a dense forest and green meadow.

Visualize that thing you are deeply grateful for. 

And as you take three more nourishing breaths, lean into feeling that gratitude.
Be aware. Thankful. Appreciative.
Feel the gratitude in your bones.
In your heart.
In your stomach.
Breathe it in. 

Take another breath and release what no longer serves you.
Let go of what is beyond your control.
And make space for what truly matters: love, connection, rest, and meaningful moments.

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This week in our Joy Alchemy Community, we’ll delve a little deeper into these topics and explore ways to not only move through trauma and difficult experiences, but also return to ourselves with greater calm and joy.

If you're going through a difficult season and are craving more support, healing, connection, or peace, you are warmly invited to join our loving Joy Alchemy Community. ✨ Each week, we gather to breathe, reset, regulate our nervous systems, shift perspective, and navigate life with greater mindfulness, ease, and compassion. If you’d like to explore first, you’re welcome to try our Community free for a week. 🤍

And if you’re feeling called toward deeper, personalized support, I would love to connect with you through a complimentary Pain to Possibility Discovery Call. Together, we can explore what it might look like to move through stress, grief, relationship or family difficulties, health challenges, emotional overwhelm, or feeling stuck with more clarity, balance, healing, and hope. 🤍

Wishing you an uplifting week filled with ease