It all started with an “F!” Life’s “Failures” Can Be (Are!) Guidance

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Mistakes and challenges may actually be the Universe’s — or the Divine’s — way of correcting and nudging us in the right direction. They can be invitations for real growth, helping us find the path that best suits us and encouraging us to listen more closely to the whispers within.

Whoa. That’s a big statement.

But I have some proof. Or at least some evidence pointing in that direction.

One example, out of many:

When I was in high school, I was a really hard working student. I studied late into the night and spent many hours each week practicing sports and babysitting my little brothers. I did everything I could to get decent grades and always felt proud of doing my best.

Then came the SATs — that pesky test many colleges use as another marker of intelligence and success.

And boy, did I fail.

If my average grade was around an A-, I somehow ended up with the equivalent of a D- or F on that exam. It was shocking, humiliating, and incredibly painful. I was a good student… so why did this happen to me?

I didn’t know proper test-taking methods and, although I knew there were classes that taught test-taking strategies, I doubted one could improve my score enough to matter. Years later, I discovered how wrong I was. While preparing for a graduate entrance exam, a course helped me go from failing practice tests to scoring very high—once the timing, and my readiness, aligned.

At the time, though, I simply felt defeated and sad. My plan had been derailed.

Still, I believed I would find another way to get into a good college. It was never a question of if for me, but how. So I let go of the idea of going straight to a four-year university and decided to attend community college (which is a fabulous option for many reasons)!

That year turned out to be surprisingly rich. 

I lived at home and got my first taste of “adulting.” I had two jobs: a fun one at a high-end oil, fruit, and nut shop at the mall, and a more serious one working for my parents in their interior decorating business. I even got my first flip phone (at age 17! 😆) and spent my limited free time with friends and my boyfriend.

Looking back now, it’s fun to see how much goodness came from those terrible SATs— things that never would have happened had I done well on that test. I like to believe that the Universe was simply helping me shift into alignment.

I was guided perfectly on my path and am grateful for each challenge — even those that felt really hard. 

Here are just a few of the gifts that came from that “failure”:

1. I had the opportunity to spend an extra year babysitting my little brother and spending time with my family. Those are really special memories and I know I played an integral role in his life, and everybody else’s, during that “bonus” year.  

2. Working with my parents taught me so much about business, entrepreneurship, teamwork, and the value of a strong work ethic.

3. I had the pleasure of exploring art, physics, and political science (where I was also taught a radical concept: we shouldn’t vote for someone just because we like their name. Ha!😬😳).

4. And perhaps the greatest gift of those darn SATs was this:

   Almost as if by divine intervention, I decided to apply as a rare one-year transfer to a university I really wanted to attend.

   Small miracle: I got in.

   Big miracle: on the very first day, as I was moving into the dorms, a "year late," I met someone special.

   My family had just driven away. I was teary-eyed, a little scared, slightly overwhelmed, and full of anticipation and excitement. As I walked back up to my room as a "big girl," away from home for the first time, I saw a cute guy. I thought it might be fun to hang out with him ... for a few weeks.

   Ha.

   That cute guy eventually became my husband.

   Perhaps we would have met another way.
   Perhaps I could have ended up with a different life partner.
   Perhaps it was a totally random coincidence.
   But it certainly feels like destiny — and it all started with failing a test.

   Maybe those test results were actually for me.

   Maybe I wasn't late.
   Maybe I was right on time.

Over the years, I’ve experienced many situations like this—serious health challenges, emotional hardships, difficult bosses, academic struggles, relationship heartbreaks, parenting stresses, the fear, loss, and trauma that comes with experiencing war first hand. And I’ve witnessed these hardships in the lives of others as well.

Again and again, growth and goodness emerged from the distress.

These struggles have made me — and many in my communities — stronger, wiser, more compassionate, more aware, more loving.

These tribulations have led me to believe that even when we can’t yet see the outcome, we can have the certainty that the Universe/Divine is on our side. That things often work out in beautiful ways we couldn’t have predicted.  That the hardships we live through are simply nudges guiding us toward something better.

It’s like the saying, “Hindsight is 20/20.” When we look back, we can see how events unfolded exactly as they needed to, how life was quietly working in our favor all along.

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Can you think of a time when something difficult in your life ultimately turned out well? When you went through a rough patch, but the end result was better than you could have anticipated?

• A health challenge that felt scary and incredibly taxing at the time, yet led you to learn something valuable and ultimately take better care of yourself. 

• A relationship that ended so the best one for you could appear.

• Or something smaller — like running late, only to later realize there had been an accident right where you would have been if you’d arrived "on time."

If a story comes to mind, I’d love to hear it.💛

Perhaps what feels like a detour
is actually life guiding us somewhere better.

Maybe when life says “not that way,”
something greater is waiting. 💚

I love the saying, “From this, only good shall come.” My friend Ellen says it often, and I find it incredibly comforting. It reminds me to loosen my grip on control, soften the worry, and trust that something meaningful may be unfolding.

Even for the most skeptical among us, simply trying on the perspective that the universe might be working for us can be surprisingly liberating. It can help us relax a bit more, take life a little less seriously, and spend more time looking for the good — the silver linings, the joy, and the beauty woven into each moment.

And when we put attention on finding good things, more appear. This is because
where our attention goes, energy flows, and manifestation grows.

What we focus on expands.

This means your potential for a delicious, joy-filled life is limitless.

Even the smallest changes in how we think and care for our nervous system
can open the door to surprising clarity and ease.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed,
Or like life is propelling you toward something new,
If you’re ready to create more joy, ease, and clarity in your life,
I’d love to support you.

Click here to explore your possibilities and see if our Joy Alchemy Community or private 1:1 sessions might be a good fit for you. Rediscover simple ways to shift your thoughts and welcome more deliciousness into your life.

And please remember: you are worthy!

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