Tame Your Lizard! Our "Lizard Brain" Loves the Negative — But You Can Beat It!

Click here to watch or dive in below. Either way, something beautiful awaits. 💖

​​Ever notice how one small criticism can outweigh ten compliments? If your brain had a favorite hobby, it might be looking for problems.

🦎 “Lizard brain," the instinctive part of us that reacts automatically to perceived threats, is running the show more often than we realize. Like a lizard scanning its surroundings, we look for danger and choose the safer, more familiar path. We fixate on small criticisms, replaying negative comments or awkward moments on an endless mental loop — long after everyone else has forgotten them.

Why?

Because since we evolved into conscious beings — think Adam & Eve awakening to self-awareness or our evolution to Homo sapiens: wise, knowing human — our survival depended on belonging. If our tribe rejected us, we risked losing protection and support, a very real threat in earlier times. Even today, being accepted by friends, colleagues, and communities still feels essential to our sense of safety and security.

So we naturally focus on anything that might make us seem less acceptable, trying to correct or conceal what we discern as “flaws” in order to remain liked, connected, employed, and respected. At the deepest level, it’s all about staying safe.

For some people this leads to people-pleasing or inauthenticity; for others it shows up as aloofness, defensiveness, or even intimidation.

This perspective resonates with me not only because it’s grounded in human history and behavior, but because it allows room for change.

A Sticky Lizard Brain Situation:

I have a friend going through a difficult challenge. He’s received a lot of feedback —mostly positive and encouraging, along with thoughtful suggestions for growth, yet he seems stuck in “lizard brain,” his nervous system fixated on perceived threats.

Even with much appreciation and goodwill coming his way, he struggles to absorb it.  His attention goes almost entirely to criticism, and he reacts from a place of hurt and defensiveness, as if feedback were danger rather than support.

The negative holds power, even amid great positivity. In this state, curiosity and a growth mindset are nearly impossible to access. The mind narrows, flexibility disappears, and even well-intentioned guidance can feel like an attack. 

It seems his nervous system is simply trying to protect him in the only way it knows. We know he wants things to work out, but he’s so activated around his growth area that, instead of making small shifts, he keeps repeating the same patterns — sometimes even more intensely than before.  Rather than seeing feedback as an opportunity to expand, he’s becoming more closed and rigid, creating frustration and pain for himself, and for those who care about him and want to see him thrive.  

Recently, after time, patience, and many gentle reminders, he has begun to recognize the feedback as kindness — an opportunity for growth rather than a threat.

It’s a powerful reminder that when someone is feeling stuck or in fight-or-flight mode, insight alone isn’t always enough, and may not even be heard or absorbed. Until the nervous system feels safe, even the most supportive input can be difficult to receive.

Yet we all have a choice.

What do we choose to focus on? Where do we place our energy?

When we deliberately look for the positives, for what is working and what brings light, we begin to see how much of it is already present. There is so much beauty and possibility around us, available if we choose to notice it.

Two people can be in the same situation. One experiences it with openness and joy; the other finds only frustration and negativity. Both the uplifting and the challenging exist, so why not place our attention and energy on what supports growth, ease, and possibility?

Looking for the good starts with a conscious decision.

It takes awareness and practice, but it’s doable, and the benefits are enormous.
Because where thoughts go, energy flows, and manifestation grows.
So when we focus on the good, it naturally expands.

And being able to start looking for the good begins with feeling good in our body.

Let’s pause and feel good, right now. ✨

If you are able, close your eyes, or soften your gaze.

I invite you to place your feet flat on the ground, take a slow, deep breath, and settle into your seat. Gently scan your body and notice anything that feels tight, stuck, or sore. Breathe into that space and offer it a little love.

Now take a slow breath in and imagine golden light — positive, nourishing energy — entering through the crown of your head. As you exhale, imagine that breath flowing down through your body, through your legs and out of your toes, gently releasing any stagnant energy.

With each inhale, invite in light, ease, and love. With each exhale, release any thoughts or emotions that no longer serve you.

Continue for a few more nourishing breaths.

You are giving yourself an energetic cleanse. Being intentional with your energy is a powerful skill that can change your life.

When you're ready, take one final deep breath. Softly open your eyes and return to your day with a little more ease, lightness, and presence.

Aaahhh. Delicious.

Now, who’s ready for some extra happiness?

If you’re tired of running on fumes, lizard-brain-ing, or postponing your own wellbeing, this is your invitation to join our Joy Alchemy Community. Try it for a week for free! Learn more and sign up here.

Remember: You are worthy!✨